January 9th Mymensingh Craziness

Today was insane. It is late now and I must wake up early tomorrow but I don't ever want to forget the cultural imagery of my day so I will write. Today was our first day in the field observing BRAC operations first hand, opening my eyes both to BRAC logistical procedures and to the cultural perspective the Bangladeshi people have of Westerners. In the evening, we had an impulsive game of volleyball and comradery. I was exhausted at dinner and really in the mood to tell all the innocently-talkative TARC residents to leave me alone, but somehow instead I said "Volleyball? You play?" And we did. A whole crowd followed out to the enclosure, where a bunch of community leaders (only men... maybe I screwed up there. whatever.) got served. Literally. HAHA. After a rousing game, there was a Bangladeshi performance and an American shitshow of awful dancing on the part of Evan Kelly and I. Yikes.

The field visit was absolutely incredible. I have seen so much literature on BRAC microfinance, but today I got to put face to personal success story. I took many notes on the technical subjects of development science, but from a personal point, the trip was way more moving. My whole academic career has been dedicated to waht I saw today: a real potential substitute for welfare and, more importantly, a way out of economic and social devastation. At the end of the village organization meeting, Shaharia (our BRAC training organizer) translated an expression from a borrower that pretty much validated my indecisive choice to leave my friends and family for three months for the third world..."We know we are poor, we are. But we work every day with our loans and we are developing to something great" The statement isn't particularily anything I didn't know about development, but to hear a statement like that from someone receiving assistance really defined her perspective. She could measure qualitatively the differences economic development was bringing her, and she was noticing an increase in quality of life. A lot of times people make assumptions about economic development and quality of life, but in her case the capitalistic theory rang true.

Meanwhile, the kids really got to me today too. At the first field visit, they loved our digital cameras and smiled and touched my hair and repeatedly told me I am beautiful. It is touching to see them so excited about Westerners, but I wonder if the association with race/nationality/ social status/ money is healthy. I worry the social roles here are too strong for real mobilization. I am on the fence. At the second visit to agricultural extensions, were we saw a farmer who had developed a nursery, a mob of children chased us around a beautiful countryside. This time I was less professional about my research and made faces and ran along with them. At the end I was even invited up to the rooftop of one of the girls, Reema's, houses to see the whole village. Breathtaking at only two stories.

Exhausted, we returned to the TARC for coffee--but awkwardly a servant man stood by our table so we had to force some cordial behavior. Too welcoming for my comfort I suppose. [since writing this I have come to realize that there is no such thing as too much service. and everyone stares...he was doing his job. im an asshole] A croud ensued and now like 20 people were staring. SO MUCH GOD DAMNED STARING. I took this opportunity to grab one of the little boys volleyballs and run with it, and so begins the night recap from the beginning of this entry.

After showering I went to the dining area to find about 100 people singing and dancing in a mini show. I ended up dancing and singing on stage in a huge exciting night of opening up to a group with such a different concept of talent that no matter my real skillz, I would only be judged as American. Comedically empowering. I was in quite the euphoria at this thought, but now I am exhausted and MUST sleep.