Dinner with my boss! February 13th

So tonight was like the sweetest night of my life. Ok, not really, and I am sure I have had that reaction to multiple nights on this trip, but it was pretty fucking awesome. I started the day out literally not thinking I could stay awake all day for the festivities, but I made it. I was supposed to go to Bilkis' house to borrow one of her saris and to go to Pink City to get a blouse made to go underneath (all for the wedding on Friday) before going to Afsana-apa's house for dinner... but I also had to finish editting my reports for Saiqa-apa within an hour and a half of leaving work. I was swamped with shit to do but completely spent for energy. Until I downed a cup of REAL starbucks coffee (this whole time I have been drinking instant, never noticing a difference until I had today's) while finishing my work at the American Club. Kickass. I skipped Bilkis' for the next day and ended up hanging out with Evan and Debrah at the club for a while, finishing all the stuff Saiqa wanted me to and eating cake and other food like it was my job.

We decided to take a rickshaw to the dinner party (I really wasnt sure if other people would be there or if it would just be me and Afsana-apa and her husband). We were leaving the club planning to take a CNG but then a guy who was friends with Saju, our favourite rickshaw driver who speaks insanely great English, was waiting at the exit. We hopped in his and his friend's ride and booked it down Gulshan, a little late for Afsana-apa's....and who do we run into AGAIN? Saju! We see this guy all over the place! He yells for us from about 100 yards away "Hey guys! HEY! I am coming!" and he weaves his way through the seemingly immobilizing traffic all the way to us. He came over and chatted us up. It was actually pretty funny. He just came back from a few days in Bogra, a northern city about halfway between here and Nilphamari. Evan, Debrah, and I had all eaten there on the way to different TARCS in the north. Saju is the nicest guy. His English is impeccable and he is always offering to drive us places and do things for us. As it turns out, he has a few other Western friends for whom he does his bidding. The guy must bank, compared to other rickshaw drivers at least. He's somehow everywhere always and he knows everyone. That's a good indicator. One time, we were driving in a CNG trying to find our way to the American club or something, and the driver was lost. He kept pulling over and asking people directions.Anyway, he pulled over once to see Saju. When we saw this, we yelled his name and got all excited... the CNG driver was really jealous and didn't want to talk to Saju for very long out of competitive dickheadedness. Saju gave quick directions and followed us in our motorized cart in his bike. And waited for 3 hours outside the club in case we wanted a ride home. In the pouring rain. It was insane! Hes amazing. And ...we saw him on the way to Afsana-apa's.
We got to Afsana-apa's house a few minutes after 8 and I realized I really should have brought something for her. I seriously feel like I fucked up on that one, but I don't think she has any expectations of me. She is always saying things like "I think of you as my little girl. You are so sweet and young and little... like a daughter of mine." It's adorable. And a smidgen belittling. Her house was amazing. The walls were a rich orange color with trinkets and masks everywhere. A few big pieces of art adorned the walls.. a Che poster and some more contemporary looking art surrounded by a mosaic of travel souveniers. Straight ahead of the doorway was a large office/ library where Afsana-apa's husband, Emriates, and his colleagues were conversing. All three were International Relations professors. I came in, took a quick gander at the room, in awe of my surroundings, and jumped into a political discussion of both Bangladeshi politics and American domestic politics. It was amazing. The men really liked Hillary Clinton, a pretty standard choice here it seems. More importantly, they had an amazing grasp of the American political system. "What happens there changes everything for us here" they agreed.

As we moved into the living room, the director of SD at BRAC entered the conversation and a business development director from British Petroleum (BP) arrived (with fucking flowers. Again I feel I have screwed up.) There, a discussion about BP's choice not to invest in Bangladesh because of PR issues conflicting with the state of human rights ensued. I understood what the BP director meant: BP shouldn't publicly endorse the behaviors of the Bangladeshi social system because shareholders will judge. I also understood what the SD director meant: BP's investment was the ultimate social responsibility in that a country with poor human rights was in greatest need of outside assistance. The thing is, BP is a business. It is not interested in BRAC-sized investments. Their social responsibility is limited, and the development of a proposed BP university within Dhaka will far surpass the point of 0 marginal return on investment in social matters.

Afsana-apa thinks I don't eat Bangladeshi food because I have been relatively sick feeling every time I have been to the field with her. Tonight was my chance to prove her wrong (even though shes right. I hate Bangladeshi food), so even though I was full as hell from my American Club business, I filled my plate with food I didn't want to eat. And I scarfed. I removed the fish from the bone like a pro, got nearly every grain of rice off my plate, and vegged out. When she came over and offered everyone seconds (and everyone else declined) I went right ahead and filled up. I felt sick as hell, but her comment "You are truly becoming like a Bangladeshi" made it worth it. I'm no baby...see?

During dinner, we discussed the Bangladeshi vs. Bengali issue with Shahab, one of the professors of international relations. Luckily, my MC202 class essentially taught this concept and I sounded semi-intelligent. The idea is essentially the nomenclature differences between a nation and a state. Today, when people speak of Bengalis, they speak of the people rooted to the land and the culture of the area. When referring to the people as they generally belong to the geographic region that is today the outline of Bangladesh, one should use the word "Bangladeshi". Modern generalizations about the people usually use Bangladeshis, but sometimes rhetoric might call for poetic tone or a cultural exclusivity, at which time one should use Bengali. I wasn't sure if one was PC or not, so this kind of helped out. This professor also invited us to see him lecture on South Asian security issues. I think I might go... so many teachers and professors beg us to go to their classes, but this one was less about us making his class interesting and more about us learning.

After dinner, we all gathered around the round table in between the two sitting areas. We listened to Afsana-apa's husband tell stories about his work in Japan and Texas. The commentary from the BP lady was really funny and relatively ignorant to the concept of multiculturalism. Emrates (his name is tough, might just have to be different every time I write it) first told a story about arriving in Japan planning to ride the train because his counterpart told him the cabs would be too expensive/ gave him an itinerary including train tickets. The cab driver was insistent on driving him, repeatedly offering assistance with his bags. When he finally gave up, he walked Emartes to the train and told him how to get where he was going. THEN he drove next to the train and saw him off the train. As it turned out, the cab driver would be paid either way and it was accepted that it was "his responsibility" to see him to his destination. HA! I thought that was pretty funny. Also, Afsana-apas husband spoke of love hotels and how the news had a section of the show for the critique of XXX films. All the people at the party started talking about Japanese work ethic, eventually making the issue full-circle, saying the intense discipline of the childhood schooling finally erupted in wild nightlife and sexual tension. My perspective is just so different I suppose my involvement in the conversation was inconceivable.
The night was amazing! I love my boss! I ended up calling Mike on Saleha-apas phone (she is gone to Syllet to see her sister) and talking for wayy to long. That's going to bite me in the ass when she gets the bill.... Welp, night time!!! Tomorrows going to be a bitch.
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